Day One of my Free from Food Fear:

Well, here goes nothing...

I have been motivated by a fear of food for too long now! I am thirty-five next month and I am still absolutely terrified that if I don't excersize daily, or only eat certain foods, my body will be "out of control" and I will grow and grow and grow.

My constant focus and worries about food and what, how and when I consume it are so totally and completely exhausting!!!

I've decided to give it all up, the fear of food that is.  Hence, I have decided to stop dieting and over excersizing!

I 've decided to face my fears and do what I have been so terrified of :

 I'm going to stop feeling helpless and afraid of my relationship with food, and in turn, my body.

I've decided to embrace a trust in myself and my body, believing that it is safe to trust.

I am just writing the words at this time, and don't really feel confident or courageous in regards to this endevour....all I feel is the same old fear I recognize I've held since about 12 years old, when I started to think that my body was something that I had to be afraid of and control. And the key to that fear lay in my relationship with food.

Ive always been aware of what I eat, going from one extreme to another, whether it be super healthy eating, fasting, dieting, or bingeing.

But this fear of food has really run its toll.  I really don't want to do it anymore and I figure that the alternative is worth a shot. Afterall, I feel crappy being this scared all the time about food.  I need a break.

So I'm writing this blog to record my feelings on this journey, I figure it will help me stay motivated.