POST 9

I woke up unsure about what to write about today.

I'm feeling quite steady emotionally on this food freedom quest of mine, to eat what I want, when I want with joy and ease.  As opposed to fear and exhaustion.  No more having to try to squeeze in a run after a long day, not because I want to but because I feel I have to, to stay slim. No more being terrified of what I'm putting in my mouth, and how it will effect my figure.

I keep thinking about how amazing this body is of mine, anatomically speaking.  It really has an ancient wisdom, to keep me fit, vibrant, energized, mobile,strong and healthy.  I think my feelings and emotions around food, and being afraid of it and what it can do to my body, only impedes my sense of well being and happiness. 

I think my body, in its inate wisdom, can handle procesing the food I eat, without me having to panic.  I'm pretty sure that my body is awesome and that I just need to let it do its thing, without trying to force it to do things that it doesn't really want to do.

And one of  the things I find I've been FORCING myself to do is run.

I figure that differs for everyone...some of us need to, and get alot of goodness from running, for example. 

After a long stint with drug abuse, on my step towards recovery, I felt overcome by the need to, among other things, run.  And boy, what a differernce that made for me.  Running put me back into my body and brought me back to a place of health and appreciation for it.

But nowadays, running is no longer a safe harbour for me, but has become something that my body doesn't want to do right now. Running became something that I had to do to feel ok about myself.  It became something I made myself do in response to my fear of food and what it can do to my body.

Right now, all my body craves is lazy afternoons in the sun, yoga, bellydancing.  No running and no gym. It just doens't wanna!

So today is dedicated to honouring my body and those fabulous experiences that it craves!
Hooray for yoga, hooray for bellydancing, and hooray for mrs.sunshine!!!!
I give thanks and apprecation for these things being in my life!