POST 28

Well, today finds me once again, enjoying eating what I want, when I want it, but feeling challenged in the area of only eating enough to feel full.

I am tired from school, work and social committments, and find that I head, not to the bed for a nap, but to the pantry for a pick-me-up snack.

And to top it all off, most of my old bottoms like skirts, shorts and pants are not fitting. 
In fact, just the other day, when racing off to doubles tennis with brad and our friends, I couldnt fit anything but for a pair of brad's boardies. Now that was depressing!!!!! And they were a perfect fit, not loose at all...in the PAST none of brads shorts would fit me so that's a double yowie owie...

Needless to say, that really got me down...I started wondering if the beautiful and vivacious creature that I was seeing in the mirror, was just a figment of my imagination? I mean, sure when I look in the mirror I see the cellulite and the fat rolls, but more importantly, I see how sexy and curvy I look.  I feel like a real woman!!

But being the same size as my man, that really got to me! I thought about it for about 48 hours, wondering if my body weight is out of control or something...

So how did I deal with those emotions you ask?  Did I quickly decide to jump on a diet or head to the gym?  Did I jump on the bandwagon of self-loathing and fear?

No I did not!

So how did I get through that, and still come out feeling beautiful and blessed and lovely?

I mentally brushed the thoughts away that made me feel bad about myself. 

I chose to deliberately focus on the positive body image ideas I have about myself like how lucky I am to be so healthy.

I focused on feeling appreciative that I haven't needed to go to the hospital for anything in 5 years and have not needed to see a doctor in over a year.  I'm on no medications and suffer from no ailments! I think that makes me one heck of a lucky girl!

And then I got to thinking that if a pair of my boyfriends shorts fit me and feel comfy on, as opposed to squeezing into something uncomfortable of my own, than why not wear them with joy?

Afterall, my body has taken care of me this long, so I need to return the favour and make her feel good too.

So once again readers, this journey towards food freedom and a positive relationship with my body is not a light an easy one...but it can be if I continue to make it so using my power of focus and positive thought.
Yip yip yippee, I'm not afraid to be meeeeee!!!!!!!!!!