POST 34

Today on my journey of food freedom, away from a fear of food and what it can do to my body, I don't really have anything specific to write.

Things seem to be pretty steady for me right now.  I'm having moments where I stop eating when I am full, and I continue to eat what I want, when I want it without guilt.

I also still manage to keep eating when I am full too. Like the other night, my friend Deedra was visiting from Canada, so all day I didn't really think about food much beacause I was having so much fun with her.  But then we settled in to watch a movie and munch on some junk food. 

Deedra fell asleep with a case of jetlag, and I ate my own bowl of chips and then hers too. I was certainly not hungry when I ate her bowl, but I felt at the time, "that I couldnt stop".  Why was this the case?

I ate so much beyond feeling full, that I then felt sick!

What emotions was I trying to avoid, I wonder?

I think I was feeling anxious about having a friend in my house, that I hadn't seen in years.  Anxious that she wouldn't find my house, or me, up to scratch.

And although I know instinctively that my friend Deedra is not like that at all, I couldn't help but be afraid of criticism anyway.

I felt unsettled for that first day, wanting to have 'everything  perfect'...

Funny how my habits of overeating often have nothing to do with the food, and everything to do with my emotions...

So todays blog is dedicated to releasing my need to please and/or be perfect!!!!
And to trust that I'm ok just as I am.
It is safe to be me!
Hip Hip Hooray, its safe to be ME today!!!!!!